Enmeshment

"Enmeshment describes a dysfunctional relationship between people in which emotional boundaries are so unclear that people have difficulty functioning or developing independently" (source)

You can be enmeshed in a variety of relationships. You can be enmeshed with family, friends, or your spouse.  It means that you have an unhealthy relationship where you are too close. A big problem is having overly open boundaries. You must keep yourself independent to a certain degree.

Family

You may be enmeshed with a family member if you feel like they play a bigger role in your daily life than what is healthy. This can mean your family member calls you all day long or shows up at your house all the time. They can badger you about things and make unforgiving demands. A good TV show example is Everybody Loves Raymond. Family enmeshment may hurt a marriage if you talk to your family member about private aspects of your marriage that you should keep between you and your spouse or won't even tell your spouse. 

Friends

I think this is the most common form of enmeshment that people don't even consider harmful. TV shows like Sex and the City and Perfect Couples display couples who discuss every detail of their personal relationships with their friends. It's not bad to talk to your friends about your troubles; almost everyone does it. But you have to draw a line or a healthy boundary. You must decide with your spouse what you want to keep sacred and private between you. It may really hurt their feelings if you talk about certain things.

A problem with being too open is that your friends and family will only take your side. They will view your spouse negatively. Do you want that? Do you want your spouse to be undefended and ripped on behind their back? The best situation is to talk to your spouse directly and not involve a third party. However if talking with your spouse isn't realistic, I've repeatedly heard the suggestion to discuss issues with your spouse's family or friends. They will be less biased and most likely more helpful with the problem. 

Spouse

You can be enmeshed with your spouse. It's hard when you are sharing your life with this person and spending so much time with them. Your marriage is hopefully a close relationship but you must find balance. An enmeshed relationship may include:

1. Not being able to tell the difference between one’s own emotions and the emotions of the other spouse

2. Feeling that one is required to rescue the other spouse from his or her own emotions

3. Feeling a need to be rescued from one’s own emotions by his or her spouse

4. Not having any personal emotional time and space from one’s spouse

5. Not having any substantial relationships with anyone other than one’s own spouse.

Make sure you are respecting yourself and your relationship. Know your healthy boundaries and where you draw the line. Understand and respect yourself in relation to those who are close to you. If you feel that you are in an enmeshed relationship, seek more information about it. The internet and literature are good resources to learn more.